A friend told me recently that this work thing just isn’t working for him. He doesn’t feel like he has enough time to work out, and he doesn’t feel like he has enough time for his family.
I told him I would give him my perspective on how I managed not to stress too much when I was working—and how I look at those priorities now that I am retired.
That conversation got me thinking about what my priorities were when I was working and what they are today.
I came to the conclusion that, for me, there have always been three important priorities in life:
Family. Health. Work.
Some people may not agree with my priorities or with how I have handled them. That’s okay. We all have different lives, different circumstances and different definitions of what is important.
But over the years, I have learned that these three areas are connected—and keeping them in balance has helped me navigate life with less stress.
Family
To me, family means taking care of the people you love the best you can.
And when I say family, I don’t mean only the people who share your last name or your DNA.
Family can be complicated. There are divorces, stepchildren, blended families, disagreements, people who don’t talk to each other and relationships that change over time.
But there are also friends who, over the years, become family. They are the people who have been there for you, shared experiences with you, supported you and become an important part of your life.
There are friends in my life that I would do just as much for as I would for someone in my immediate family. That’s because, to me, family is also about love, trust, loyalty and the bond you build with someone over time.
Being related to someone doesn’t automatically make that person an important part of your life, just as not being related doesn’t mean someone can’t be one of the most important people in it.
We don’t always get to choose how other people treat us. But we do get to decide how we treat them—and how much of ourselves we are willing to give to each relationship.
I’ve learned that you have to decide who you are going to invest your time and energy in, how important that relationship is to you, and what kind of relationship you want to have with that person.
Sometimes that means getting closer. Sometimes it means establishing boundaries. And sometimes it means accepting that a person may be family by blood but not hold the same place in your life as someone who has earned your trust and love.
That’s not being cold. That’s being honest about the relationships that matter to you.
Ultimately, I believe family is the people you choose to love, support and be there for—and the people who choose to do the same for you.
Health
As I have gotten older, I have realized just how critical health is.
If you don’t have your health, it becomes much harder to take care of your family, enjoy your life or perform at work.
For me, exercise has become a priority. I recommend finding a way to get about an hour of physical activity into your day. I know that sounds like a lot, but I have found that taking care of yourself physically gives you more energy, better endurance and a better ability to handle everything else life throws at you.
And it’s not just about living longer.
It’s about being able to live better.
You want to be able to go places with your family, participate in activities, travel, work when you need to work and enjoy retirement when you get there.
Your health is an investment in all of your other priorities.
Work
I really liked my job when I was working.
I had good people around me, and some not so good, that said, I enjoyed what I did, and I knew that if I managed my money and planned correctly, I could have a good retirement.
That became my North Star.
I wasn’t working just for today. I was working toward something.
I wanted to do a good job. I wanted to help others and be someone people could count on. I wanted to maintain my integrity and do what I believed was right. At the same time, I kept my eyes on that long-term goal of eventually retiring and being financially secure.
I believe people recognized that.
I was able to give my time and energy to the company while continuing to work toward my own North Star.
And now, looking back, I am glad I did.
I retired knowing that I had helped many people, done my best, planned for the future and continued moving toward the goal I had set for myself.
My North Star got me here.
The Connection Between the Three
The interesting thing about Family, Health and Work is that they aren’t really three separate priorities.
They affect one another.
That’s why I believe communication is so important.
If you’re going to spend an hour working out, let your family know. If you’re going to work late, let your family know—and make sure you also make time for your health. If you have an important family commitment, communicate that with work.
Don’t make each part of your life compete with the others in secret.
When people understand what you are doing and why you are doing it, there is less confusion and, in my experience, less stress.
You can’t always make everyone happy. But you can communicate, plan and make sure the people around you understand what is important to you.
Priorities Change
Finally, I don’t believe there is a permanent order to these three priorities.
Sometimes Family needs to be at the top.
Sometimes Health needs to come first.
Sometimes Work has to take priority because there is a deadline, a responsibility or something important that needs to get done.
The key is being able to move them around when life requires it.
If one of them is always at the top, I think there may be a problem.
Work cannot always come first.
Family cannot always come first.
Even health cannot always come first.
Life doesn’t work that way.
Instead, I believe the goal is to let these three priorities coexist—to understand that sometimes one moves up while another moves down, and then tomorrow or next week, that order may change again.
For me, that’s the rhythm of life.
Family. Health. Work.
Take care of the people you love. Take care of yourself. Do your best at whatever work you choose to do. Have a North Star that gives you direction.
And most importantly, don’t let one part of your life consume all of the others.
That’s what has worked for me.
It may not work exactly the same way for you—and that’s okay.
We all have our own North Star.
God Bless.
People Helping You 